Stuff I Think and Shouldn’t Say 49: The Part Where the Band Breaks Up

In every major motion picture involving the life and times of ANY rock group, we inevitably get that scene where the group has a “serious talk.” Some members are starting families, and though they love touring with the single folks, married life isn’t conducive to groupie-shagging. The band, as they say, goes “on an indefinite break.”

This Monday was my last morning in the old Astoria apartment that I shared with Tracy and Jon (Salty) Sevastra. 17 months.

That’s a long time (if you are talking about a high school relationship) but it’s a drop in the bucket of my soon-to-be 28 years of living here on Planet Earth. We’ve since split into two distinct groups: 1) Tracy and I and 2) Salty. Jon and I will always be tight, and he will be working with me extensively in future plans here at Inside Pulse, but sitting with him in the ol’ Grace Chateau this past Thursday made me smile.

We both took turns bailing the other’s ass out, and now fate had put us in a place to do great things for ourselves. We’re both working on “solo projects,” but his is based in Brooklyn and S & T (Tracy and I haven’t decided on a name and “SuperDudes” is taken, apparently) have gotten a new place in Queens.

I thought about naming this section: Breaking Up Is Hard To Do, but I thought the name would convince my mother that I had, in fact, left Tracy when, in fact, I was moving out of 33rd Street and coming to a place for just us. The big, scary move-in with a girl.

I am many things, but confident that I can annoy one person to the point that they want to kill me is one of those traits I wish I had lost like most people, in middle school. I am a big kid, but I am intensely loyal. I am going to miss the old neighborhood with it’s flashy lights and sucky parking and the convenience of 100s of shops within a block or two. I will miss my short walk to the train, and I will have to relearn the quickest route to every place in Manhattan.

I will miss is the fact that I developed some funny acquaintances in the neighborhood. The guys at the bodega a block over knew me by name. Okay, ” Buddy-Man” isn’t really my name, but since my mother calls me “Bud,” I let it slide and pretended we were tight. The Pizza Guys all knew me as “Hey…” and I feel rather badly that they will no longer be receiving $5 weekly for the two Sicilian slices I ate. I hope they don’t lose their lease because of it. New York is expensive.

No, I think the thing I am going to miss most is the family I built for myself. Salty is one of my closest friends in the world. We spent a great deal of time arguing and talking about music over the years, and if we weren’t DJ-ing, we were talking about the perfect 3-song sets for weddings: “At Last”, “Wonderful Tonight,” “Eternal Flame” are my three choices. Etta James will be my first dance with Tracy. Wonderful Tonight should be the second. When the Bangles come on, the ironic smiles are worth it. I think laughter is a good way to start a marriage.

Anyway, this isn’t about marriage. This is about me “breaking up the band.” The “Shawn, Tracy and Jon” Band. I liked how it worked for the three of us; Jon was asleep when Tray left for work, I woke him up, he left for work, she came home, she went to bed, he came home, and all the while, I was sitting on my ass trying to decide if I was going to be hired by any of the 10 interviews I had a month.

(The short answer was ‘no,’ but you might have assumed that by now, or I wouldn’t always be online, now would I?)

When I first got hurt at work, there were a lot of issues and doctors appointments that kept me from writing for a bit. I was getting really depressed for a while, and I won’t lie, Jon and Tracy did their best to get my head out of my ass.

Feeling sorry for myself, I actually started WRITING. Not just cut-and-pasting my way to the top of InsidePulse’s front page, no no no, I actually started writing my thoughts and feelings on a wide variety of topics. Music Retail, Touring Revenues, just stuff to make people stop and think for a second of our impact on the music industry. To inspect the viral aspect of marketing today (they used to just call it “grass roots” or “word-of-mouth promotion” when I first started pulling back the layers to take a peek at the beast underneath.

Getting back on track, I never realized how much my writing affected people until I received an email from someone who claimed to have never bought a CD in their life. They asked me not to reprint the message, so I respect that wish, but the fact that this 21-year-old woman had NEVER purchased any album with her own money really intrigued me. She knew her whole life that it was all a scam to get money, and that the artist’s didn’t see much of the cash that was forked over by fans, so she supported them at shows by purchasing merch, but NEVER gave a cent to the labels.

This started to resonate through my life a bit, as when I realized that someone who obviously cared about music like I do had the strength to not buy into the crap that was put out on the radio, well that said quite a bit about me. I admit that I have been duped in many, many times, but that is probably just my trusting nature.

Hell, PR people write us all the time and talk about their “hottest release.” You know, the one that I “cannot live without?” I usually laugh at their attempts to shove even more crap into my mailbox, but I realized that if I cared about ANYTHING, I had to start showing it.

While totally down in the dumps, with my shoulder frequently dislocating, I made a small schedule change. I focused more and made sure to eat, write, get lots of sleep and focus on going in a direction as a writer, so I could look back later and be proud of what I had done. If I couldn’t impress anyone with my resume, my body of work at IP would be here for me, and I could look back and say I was proud of what I had done.

Sure, there were typos and bad punctuation that I missed, but I was still sitting here do what I needed to do: bring people into my favorite website in the world. Those that have come and enjoyed what I have written, thanks. You guys make it worthwhile.

Just like the guys at the bodega and the people at Rite-Aid and my grocery store, you made my day sometimes without even realizing it. It’s funny how something so simple and courteous can make me smile, but I once again see the good in the industry and don’t see all the folks working in it as sleazy carnival-barkers looking for their next “mark.” They don’t always love the stuff they have to work with, but they love music and appreciate their ability to open people up to new stuff every day.

(Side note: You’ve always been genuine, Salty. Thanks for the good memories and here’s to millions more.)

—————————————————————-

.::.Plugging the Bitchin’ $h!t.::.
.:.Columns from the Week that Was!.:.

Greg Wind: Between the Notes
Kyle David Paul: Let’s Rave On
Gloomchen: Totally True Tune Tales
Mathan Erhardt: More Reasons Why Being Deaf Sucks/Rocks

—————————————————————-

Ssquared’s Music Pulse Hook-Up!

Metric – Poster Of A Girl

I selected this video for a reason: Emily Haines is mentioned in The Quicky-Fast News this week (for those that don’t know better, that is the news that I cover ever week) and I thought that this was as good a time as any for those of you who have never heard Metric get a chance to do just that. It’s garage-rock mixed with electronica, it’s fun and infectious, so my readers should really dig it.

If you don’t, I owe you a cupcake.

Enjoy.

—————————————————————-

The QUICKY-FAST News!
brought to you by

.:.Go Elton, It’s Your Birthday.:.
Rapper 50 Cent has revealed he is desperate to work with pop star Elton John. Fiddy was scheduled to collaborate with Elton in 2001, but the whole thing fell through and was never reorganized. The rapper is now hoping that he and Elton can make beautiful music together in the near future. 50 Cent said: “Elton has incredible talent. He was meant to come out and record some stuff with me but it didn’t happen.” However, with Elton reportedly planning on recording a hip hop album maybe these two stars will finally get their collaborative wish.
(credit: Gigwise.com)

I knew that 50 Cent was desperate about a lot of things, but I was unaware that collaborating with an aging and super-flamboyant Elton John was a dream of his. I always assumed that he was more likely to pray for a special talent (he loves Table Tennis, and refuses to call it “ping pong”) or that the person whose next beat he steals won’t shoot him in the face. Evidently I was wrong. I can admit that. Secretly, it appears, Fiddy longs to sample “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road” with Sir Elton’s permission. It’s either that, or Elton likes dark meat so much that 50 Cent’s inherent lack of recognizable talent won’t scare John away from 50′s embrace.. If you look at Fiddy REALLY hard, you can tell that he loves showtunes and Clay Aiken. He might think Liza is “just another fat bitch,” but Elton is his holy grail.

There’s nothing wrong with that.

He just has to keep up the appearance that he doesn’t “kiss the bishop.” He’s a top, not a bottom. Why pretend otherwise, Curtis? What self-respecting thug hasn’t had his “shit pushed in” while doing time? At least you, Fiddy, have the strength and moral resolve to admit that it did something for you. Sure, it hurts for a bit, but stretch the rectal walls long enough and experience the ecstasy, right?

Milk that prostate, Fiddy. If Lloyd or Yayo won’t “kiss you where you pee out of,” go find someone who will.

.:.I Can’t Believe There’s Still Video Music Awards.:.

Panic! At The Disco took home the top prize at this year’s MTV’s Video Music Awards winning the Video of the Year award.

The Las Vegan quartet beat off the likes of Madonna and the Red Hot Chili Peppers to win the coveted gong.

Elsewhere, James Blunt won Best Male Video and Best Cinematography for ‘You’re Beautiful’ and Kelly Clarkson won Best Female for ‘Because Of You’.

Best Pop video went to Pink’s ‘Stupid Girl’, Best R&B was won by ‘Check On It’ by Beyonce Knowles and AFI won Best Rock for ‘Miss Murder’.

Best Group was won by The All American Rejects.

Despite being nominated for seven awards Madonna went home empty handed.
(credit: Gigwise.com)

Wow.

Last time, I talked about image being important. Part of the package is videos, but to trust MTV to still have their finger on the pulse of what’s hip and cool is about the same as asking my grandmother to pick new releases for me to review for this site.

(Ssquared Note: Nan doesn’t buy music. She tells me what she likes, I find similar artists for her and pray she likes them. I guess at a certain age, you just accept that you have no clue as to what is good. If you see or hear someone on American Idol or Good Morning America, that’s the limited exposure that you get. Nan’s doing just fine in that regard. Plus, she thinks Justin Timberlake is cute as hell.)

Pink’s new video was funny, as it was an indictment of all things sucky and bleached in Hollywood. She lambasted Paris and Lindsay Lohan and I am quite fine with that. They both need to be punched in the throat. I can’t do that, so at least she is comfortable taking that role.

AFI sucks. They drive me nuts. The only good thing they have contributed to the world was “Miseria Cantare,” and that was CM Punk’s theme music in Ring of Honor. When the best thing you have going for you is that you are the entrance music for a pro-wrestler, it’s time to fix something.

The only thing the VMAs were remotely right about was Madonna. She got a closet-worth of sympathy nominations and walked home with not a single award. Thank you to whomever voted. Madonna sucks and the less I have to hear her fake British accent, the better.

(Ssquared Note #2: All American Rejects were the best group? Sweet Jesus. I could have stomached a win by OK Go, but All American Rejects? I take back what I just said. Fuck you, MTV Voters. You have no clue. Seriously. Thanks for making music suck.)

.:.Haines Bringing Knives Out.:.
Metric lead singer Emily Haines will release her first solo album, Knives Don’t Have Your Back, Sept. 26 via Last Gang Records. The 11-track set was recorded over a four-year span in New York, Los Angeles, Toronto, and Montreal.

“I mostly wrote these when I’d come off the road with Metric,” Haines told Billboard.com. “I played some of them for the [Metric] guys, but what emerged I liked. It was nice to finally acknowledge that I have more in me than I thought I did.”

The band backing Haines is dubbed The Soft Skeleton and consists of multi-instrumentalists Scott Minor (Sparklehorse) and James Shaw (Metic), plus drummer Justin Peroff (Broken Social Scene). Also featured Evan Cranley (Broken Social Scene, Stars) on trombone and Chris Seligman (Stars) on the French horn.

Haines describes Knives as “a record about taking stock — stopping for a minute. I’d say it was written in a time of a lot of activity, [when] what was my ‘earlier life’ ended and all those relationships ended.”

Haines is the daughter of jazz poet Paul Haines, who recorded two landmark albums in the early 1970s with avant-garde pianist Carla Bley. “I grew up with her music as a strong role model,” Haines says. “She’s one of those people who leads by example, and I’d be very happy if her work showed up in any form in my compositions.”

Later this month, Haines will play a handful of solo shows in New York, Los Angeles, Toronto, Montreal, and San Francisco. Afterward, she’ll resume touring and recording with Metric. “We’re going to do Iceland in November and then I think we’ll disappear into the mountains and start to make another record,” she says.

Here is the track list for Knives Don’t Have Your Back:
“Our Hell”
“Doctor Blind”
“Crowd Surf Off a Cliff”
“Detective Daughter”
“The Lottery”
“The Maid Needs a Maid”
“Mostly Waving”
“Reading in Bed”
“Nothing and Nowhere”
“The Last Page”
“Winning”
(credit: Billboard.com)

Metric is one of those bands that I feel everyone should have to own. 2005′s Live It Out is a fun experience for anyone looking for a new artist to fall in love with, or to find something to turn on while you cook. Emily is also very cute and with a father as a jazz poet, you know she has learned how to construct a lyrical masterpiece.

For people who don’t know Metric all that well, here’s a link: I Love Metric: Official Site. If you don’t enjoy what you hear there, drop me an email and I will suggest 6-10 other bands to check out instead.

I am good like that, homies.

.:.Grenades Will Be Thrown.:.
Incubus dabbles in a variety of styles on its first album in two years, Light Grenades, due Nov. 28 via Epic. The 13-track set will be led by the riffy first single “Anna Molly,” which describes a woman who may or may not exist in real life. The track will hit U.S. radio outlets in October.

Several tracks stay true to the band’s more hard rock-oriented side, particularly the gnarly lead riff and pounding, punk-ish pace of the two-minute title track, the overdriven chorus of “A Kiss To Send Us Off” and the punchy “Rogues,” which approximates a bizarre cross between latter-day Red Hot Chili Peppers and Ted Leo.

Beyond the hazy, effects-drenched opener “Quicksand,” the band conjures Led Zeppelin III-esque acoustic riffs on “Paper Shoes,” spaces out on the atmospheric “Dig,” burrows into a simple mid tempo ballad on “Love Hurts” and jams out with abandon during the outtro of “Pendulous Threads.”

“Light Grenades” also includes the two-part “Earth to Bella,” one version of which divides the track list in half, the other of which closes the album.

Incubus has yet to announce tour plans in support of the project, but will perform Sept. 30 at Edgefest in Tempe, Ariz., alongside Rise Against, Jack’s Mannequin, 30 Seconds To Mars and She Wants Revenge

Here is the track list for Light Grenades:

“Quicksand”
“A Kiss To Send Us Off”
“Dig”
“Anna Molly”
“Love Hurts”
“Light Grenades”
“Earth to Bella Part 1″
“Oil and Water”
“Diamonds and Coal”
“Rogues”
“Paper Shoes”
“Pendulous Threads”
“Earth to Bella Part 2″
(credit: Billboard.com)

Okay, Incubus, we get it.

Everyone forgot about you while Brandon was off drinking and doing groupies at other band’s shows. In fact, while you were away, Audiovent (the band with two brothers of guys from your band) well they disappeared off the face of the Earth. Your buddies in the band Hoobastank finally showed the world what I already knew: Doug Robb is a huge touchhole.

(Ssquared Note #3: I threatened to light his midget ass on fire behind Northern Lights in Clifton Park, NY. No band that had less than 80,000 debut albums sold should be that f*cking rude to anyone, especially people who paid their hard-earned money to come see your sucky stage show.)

So, since you’ve been off recording new songs for so long, I really was expecting a third Elvis Greatest Hits (NEW! With remixed classics over a techno beat!) before you returned to remind me why I stopped buying your music.

“Pardon Me” was a great song with a cool concept video. I tolerated “Stellar,” but soon after all your shenanigans, more Incubus-like acts arrived on the scene to suck the life out of modern rock radio. It was bad enough that I have to listen to old Creed songs, but I know that since I had the audacity to buy two of their albums, I cannot complain that radio still has a hard-on for them. It’s my fault, in some way. I should have pushed Scott Stapp into that oncoming traffic when I received a chance, but I didn’t.

Anyhow, good luck with the rest of your recording and practicing before you go on the road. Your tour looks like it will suck, but everyone will get laid that night. 90% of your audience is ladies, mind you, so whatever scummers Brandon doesn’t want, the rhythm section can tag team.

Good luck with the Herpes.
—————————————————————-

.::.Plugging Music Reviews: the Inside Pulse Way.:.
Check out the Archive or you can just click the individual reviews below:

MEW – And The Glass Handed Kites

Jessica Simpson – A Public Affair

Funky Nashville – Hitch a Ride

The Grates – Gravity Won’t Get You High

Darker My Love – Darker My Love

La Rocca – The Truth

Dream Theater – Score
—————————————————————-

Top Ten Things Ssquared Wrote For InsidePulse (as ranked by readers who write him feedback):

10) The Inside Pulse Interview with Austin Aries
9) The One After I Officially Lost My Mind
The Submarines – Declare a New State! Review
7) Kancho vs. Pee Pee Tag!
6) Creed Ruined My Life
5) Death of Music Retail: Part One and Part Two
4) A Story, Yah?
3) The One with the Musical NeelDown
2) The Kanye Party
1) The Sea Booger?

A long time ago, I was told that none of my readers cared who I was by a fellow writer. Sure, I was too “bloggy” at the very beginning for some people’s taste, but I was around and helpful. I filled in when needed (taking over the Weekly Music Pulse when real-life got in JF2K6′s way.) I was here when Cam left Music and focused on Sports instead.

The assumed “collapse” within the Music Zone never happened, as while there may have been fewer of us, I still believe that we have some super-talented writers here; maybe the best on the ‘net. If there were places to get “Intraweb” Awards, we would win (at least one.)

Thank you all for reading this week. I have a few more tricks up my sleeve for next time.

Peace. Love. Moe. (see Fingers, people DO remember when you had a Music Column!)

Keep it real!
Ssquared
Ssquared @ MySpace

Last 5 posts by Shawn M. Smith

• Video Hook-Up: Seasons - "Light, Lost" - September 8th, 2010
• Oberhofer - "Away FRM U" on Big Ugly Yellow Couch - September 7th, 2010
• Dead Meadow on Dirty Laundry TV - September 2nd, 2010
• Video Hook-Up: Hostage - "Roll" - September 1st, 2010
• Video Hook-Up: MGMT - "Congratulations" - August 26th, 2010