The Long Blondes: Official Site, MySpace
With the amp squeal of the opening track, one knows where they stand with the Long Blondes’ debut full length Someone to Drive You Home. The album is going to be another chapter in the new rock cannon, the recent standard for new bands since 2002 with the advent of The Strokes and their ilk. Think Franz Ferdinand without the distinctive personality.
What makes Someone a record of some consequence is the hodgepodge of styles lifted from outside that cannon. Combining the precocious three chord pop of early Pretenders with the stylized jangling of Maximo Park, not to mention the precious bitch attitude that has become so popular with teenagers and twenty-somethings in the UK and stateside, places the album well within the realm of listenability. The better tracks on the album even lend themselves to repeated toe-tapping listenings.
The obvious standout of the album is “Once and Never Again,” a track that consciously succeeds at putting Chrissie Hynde and Deborah Harry to shame. The song points the same finger that mothers around the world have used for decades, exposing the undeserved amount of emotion that seems to accompany young love, and basically telling the jilted lover to get over it. “You’re only nineteen for god’s sake” is a mantra that sets a dangerous tone for boyfriends around the world, giving young ladies the idea that they may not have to be quite so dependent on the dubiously handsome young lover they had grown attached to in high school.
“Lust in the Movies,” the opening track is a brilliant tone setter for an album with a not-so-covert concept. The constant repetition of the lyric, “I just want to be a sweetheart,” leads one to believe the young lady doth protest to much. Suspicions are confirmed with references to Edie Sedgwick, Anna Karenina, and Arlene Dahl. With “Giddy Stratospheres” Kate Jackson happily puts on her bitch hat, her sole intention to take some poor boring girl’s boyfriend from her. The thrill the speaker in the song gets is not lost on the audience, the driving beat demanding you dance, and the gorgeous vocal work alternately making you want to pass out and sing along.
The decided hard-edged femininity of the vocals leave the male listener in what this reviewer likes to call the Hooters mentality: in your face sexy and there to look at (or in this case, listen to), yet you are afraid to indulge in prolonged stares for fear of being considered a creep. This quality leaves the music with the delicious uncomfortability one hopes for in what could be considered the blueprint of chick rock. The rhythm section is decidedly par, Reenie Delaney and Screech Louder (a perfect rock monaker) delivering deliberate pounding, but including a disco flair that while engaging is hardly unexpected or revolutionary. Kudos to the guitarist, who manages to grant the jangling style a better reputation, avoiding the annoying hum drum of The Edge, while retaining the brit-pop credibility of Kaiser Chiefs and Maximo Park.
Without question, Someone to Drive You Home is not without its throwaways. “Heaven Help the New Girl” is a slower, less interesting retelling of “Once and Never Again,” and the repeating of the no-need-for-a-boyfriend theme detracts from the credibility of the concept, as if she is only saying it over and again to convince herself. Other album tracks rehash the same old same old that the Clash and the Pretenders wore holes in decades ago.
Still, the standouts make the record a rewarding listen, and a promising debut from a band with some staying power. Hope for evolution and maturity in future releases, but revel in the ridiculous fun and dirty poses of Someone to Drive You Home until then.

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