Douchebag Alert: A Point By Point Rebuttal of Joe Satriani’s Interview With MusicRadar.com


Joe Satriani has come out swinging. In an interview with MusicRadar.com, he has achieved a level of douchebaggery not since…well, we can’t even remember. So here is what we at Radio Exile are doing: we will send a TOTALLY AWESOME prize to the first person (or crew of people) who can send us an mp3 of a song that came out before Joe Satriani’s “If I Could Fly” that features the same melody he’s claiming to have “created”. According the thread at Fark [link] surrounding our original article [link], this is a fairly common progression.

Let’s prove that Joe had access to a similar song to help inspire “If I Could Fly”. It needs to be something that we can get the word out about and shut this dude up. Bear in mind, we’re a bit poor, but for your efforts, we will write you up on our rad blog and we’ll also sent you ANY TEN ALBUMS WE’VE REVIEWED in 2008. Radio Exile will ship them, no cost to you, just pick what you want once we confirm that we like the entry and believe we can use it to silence Satriani.

Update: 1:35 PM ET: Creaky Boards add Brooklyn is Love swag to our prize pack.

Click “Continue Reading” to read more nonsense from Joe Satriani

We’re not helping Coldplay by any stretch of the imagination. We just want people who are stolen from to use the correct avenues to seek retribution and stop whining to the media. That melody is so damn common that somebody else must have used it before him and that piece HAD to inspire Satch. Let us come together for a great cause: embarrassing Joe Satriani!

Editor’s note: we sympathized with Satriani before this interview, but now that he’s definitely doing this to draw attention to his own work, we’ve given up on him. He got ripped off (we think), but you can’t create art in a vacuum. Look at the sites that took our Katy Perry/Zooey Deschanel article and ran with the content. You don’t see me suing them because we know that SMS got the inspiration from this photo [link]. We wrote Perez about it and he even followed up his own post once we contacted him [link].

Satriani should have just asked for credit and publishing rights. This way, he would see what he was entitled to instead of tying the courts up in a meaningless lawsuit. Funny that Creaky Boards were able to get a statement out about their song by viral promotion of their video mashup. How many people know about them now as a result? Joe, you’re an industry vet – you should have done something similar and you know better.

“I felt like a dagger went right through my heart. It hurt so much. The second I heard it, I knew it was [my own] If I Could Fly.”

Aliens don’t have hearts. Guitar gods don’t feel pain. You are a liar.

“Almost immediately, from the minute their song came out, my e-mail box flooded with people going, ‘Have you heard this song by Coldplay? They ripped you off man.’ I mean, I couldn’t tell you how many e-mails I received.”

It’s very easy to tell. Simply go to your inbox and search “coldplay”. See how many results you get. Presto! That’s how many e-mails you received.

“Everybody noticed the similarities between the songs. It’s pretty obvious. It’s as simple as that – when you listen to a song and you say, ‘Wow, that’s a real rip-off.’”

Nobody mentioned this until six months after the fact. It’s not obvious, it’s a random little melody you played while wanking around. Get over it. Why don’t you go bug Creaky Boards? Oh wait, they don’t have millions of dollars…Coldplay does. I think I’m beginning to understand.

“I started writing it on the Flying In A Blue Dream tour back in 1990. But because of the way I write, sometimes songs take a while, as this one did. In 2003 I started demoing it in earnest. I played it on the acoustic guitar on a demo so I could sing the melody, then I demoed it on electric to get the sound. And the performance turned out to be so spontaneous, so right and so emotional, that it wound up being a keeper.”

Since 1990? [insert Axl Rose/Chinese Democracy joke]

Does anybody truly believe that Satriani writes:
a) songs with an acoustic guitar
b) songs with melodies
c) “songs”

“That was the intent all along,” he says. “It was a love letter to my wife, Rubina – a simple, direct expression of feeling.”

And now you’re trying to buy her an anniversary gift by suing Coldplay! It’s the song that keeps on giving!

“That’s what really hurts about this whole thing. That I spent so long writing the song, thinking about it, loving it, nursing it, and then finally recording it and standing on stages the world over playing it – and then somebody comes along and plays the exact same song and calls it their own.”

YOU ARE NOT, I REPEAT YOU ARE NOT THE FIRST PERSON TO PLAY C, D, G, AND Em! GET OVER YOURSELF! STOP JACKING OFF TO YOUR OWN MUSIC!

“The media attention has been bizarre and surreal. I really can’t explain how I’ve felt over the past day or two.”

If you can’t handle the Radio Exile heat, then don’t pick up the guitar, bro!

“Everybody’s assumes I’m trying to go after these guys in Coldplay, as if I’m doing this with malice. That’s the furthest thing from my mind. I’m just doing what I need to do as an artist, to protect what’s mine, to protect those feelings I put down in song.”

Then go sue Creaky Boards! They use the same melody you money grubbing douche!

“I did everything I could to avoid a court case with this situation. But Coldplay didn’t want to talk about it. They just wanted this whole thing to go away. Maybe they figured this little guitar player guy will leave them alone after a while, I don’t know.

Posting a video to YouTube does not count as “doing everything you could”. Believe it or not, most people haven’t heard your music or that song. Perhaps they won’t talk because you’re trying to sue them over one of the most basic melodies known to man or they’re really embarrassed to have to admit that they own or listen to your music.

“But we’re talking about a piece of art that I created, and that’s something I feel is important. I think everybody should feel that way.”

I have seen art and you sir are no artist.

If you think you’ve found Satriani’s inspiration, hit us up at radioexile@gmail.com and we’ll help spread the word. Remember, we need a song, a movement, SOMETHING that we think Satriani could have used to inspire the creation he calls “If I Could Fly”.

Check out the interview in its entirety here [link]

Update: 1:35 PM ET

We just received word from Creaky Boards regarding our contest:

“we’d be glad to contribute to this fun contest. we will offer a t-shirt, Brooklyn is Love on vinyl (digital download included), and a creaky boards comic book.

i’d be glad to do an interview too.

i can’t wait to hear the other hundreds of songs that use this melody.

xo
andrew”

Radio Exile…helping bridge that divide.

Article image courtesy of Paste Magazine [link]

This piece was created with contributions from Tom Williams and Shawn M. Smith.

Last 5 posts by Radio Exile Staff

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29 comments for “Douchebag Alert: A Point By Point Rebuttal of Joe Satriani’s Interview With MusicRadar.com”

  1. Oh my God. This is sooo funny.

    Posted by L G | December 8, 2008, 7:54 pm
  2. Um, do you think either of them ever heard of a song called ‘Blowin’ In The Wind’?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ced8o50G9kg

    Posted by Keith Richards | December 9, 2008, 12:57 am
  3. Dood this is fucking retarded. Admit it. Coldplay copied it from satriani with no authority. Satriani deserves his pay. Hes worked harder than all of coldplay combined together and yet a band that can’t think up of their own songs makes millions off him. Satriani deserves his pay. Its called copyright you dumb shits. And creaky boards is one satrianis side.
    Read the fucking article.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viva_la_vida#Plagiarism_allegations

    Douchebag alert: Radio exile staff are cock suckers!

    Posted by Jacky Rogers | December 9, 2008, 5:11 am
  4. You morons, a chord progression and a melody a two distinct things, a melody is what makes a song, if somebody plays the melody for Fur Elise or Ode To Joy in any song you would recognised the MELODY right away. Thousands of songs use the same chord progressions, these back up the MELODY that is played along. Get an education before you decided to make such moronic statements.

    Posted by Yeah Right | December 9, 2008, 6:11 am
  5. I like when people get this angry over a blatant joke. Seriously, look at the post from Friday and get a grip. Other than that, who cares? Satch will get his day in court, it’s just very convenient for him to have decided to sue the day after the Grammys are announced. He wants public sympathy for being ripped off so he waited this long to make his public plea for artistic credibility and theft.

    If we didn’t know the difference between chords and melody, we wouldn’t be retarded. We’d just be ignorant. Believe me, we aren’t ignorant. You just didn’t get the joke.

    Posted by Shawn M. Smith | December 9, 2008, 8:33 am
  6. Posted by jim mcmullen | December 9, 2008, 8:38 am
  7. Satrianis song sounds like a sped-up version of “Hearts”by Marty Balin written in 1983.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vASdN1WZWAM

    Posted by Conrad | December 9, 2008, 11:00 am
  8. [...] La Vida”, and “Song I Didn’t Write” but which predates all of them, and we will give you your choice of any 10 CDs we’re reviewed this year and Creaky Boards (who are awesome, btw) have thrown in some cool [...]

    Posted by Satriani vs. Coldplay vs. Creaky Boards | Radio Exile | December 9, 2008, 12:20 pm
  9. lol, this is funny

    Posted by Shabab J | December 9, 2008, 11:33 pm
  10. Can anyone help me, Im a brick layer and was just wondering if I could sue another brick layer for using sand in his cement, you see I think he is ripping me off. or maybe im just shit at laying bricks.

    Posted by Ed | December 11, 2008, 5:50 am
  11. Dear people from ‘Radio Exile’,

    I had never heard of you before I saw some lame video on youtube of you guys telling about some stupid contest.

    well fuck you.

    Joe Satriani rules, maybe he shouldn’t have sued Coldplay (I don’t think they copied their song from his I Could Fly, although it sounds like… the same song) but that’s no reason to post how shitty he is, he still makes brilliant music and he’s far more talented than you are, you work at a radio station because you can’t make such pieces yourself.

    Posted by Satch fan | December 12, 2008, 10:02 am
  12. Dear “Satch fan” -

    This might come as a surprise to you, but if you can’t even take a second a see that we aren’t a “radio station” and are, in fact, a blog, you’re really dumb. If you’re Joe’s target demo, it sucks to think that 30 years of shredding solos has come down to some really lame lawsuit and the aid of folks like yourself in this quest for artistic integrity.

    Was Joe hitting up Andrew from Creaky Boards when he was insisting that Coldplay took the melody from them? Nope. We asked.

    Being a fan doesn’t give you carte blanche to staunchly defend an artist when he’s being a money grubbing whore. He started writing “If I Could Fly” in 1990 according to an interview with Music Radar, which we’re pretty sure he’s only saying to cover his ass against the Cat Stevens, Marty Balin and Enanitos Verdes fans that know their version of the same melody is older than his 2004 publication date.

    Frankly, this lawsuit is B.S. You know it. You basically said that above.

    We’re saying he’s shitty because, quite honestly, he’s an asshole without a manager looking not only for a payday, but some notoriety as his sales and career wane.

    Posted by Shawn M. Smith | December 12, 2008, 10:37 am
  13. You can get a good look at a T-bone steak by sticking your head up a bulls ass, but I’d rather take the butcher’s word for it.

    Don’t blame Satriani for having to sue a group of crooks who are in loser denial and who refused to talk about things without the aid of a judge and jury.

    Coldplay are the real douchebags.

    Posted by TheButcher | December 12, 2008, 4:20 pm
  14. Good analogy, “The Butcher”, but what really needs to be said is this: everyone is passing the buck. Coldplay’s label booted our video from YouTube, those cocks.

    Satch is doing this for publicity. Yeah, it’s similar, but what would he do if these other acts come after him for cash? Is he going to turn it over with a smile?

    Musicians who can’t admit that they are all stealing from one another make me sick. Joe’s composition is obviously built on other works. Viva La Vida is taken from him.

    How about this? Coldplay are stripped of the nomination. That way, Joe doesn’t end up in court because he ripped off someone else as well.

    Posted by Shawn M. Smith | December 12, 2008, 5:10 pm
  15. I think if Cat Stevens (the O.G. in this particular melody) is able to come out of his schizophrenic hermitage and put together a winning case I don’t think Satriani would have a choice. We all know that Cat Stevens is the textbook definition of crazy and unless a mysterious voice tells him to sue, he will continue on his path to enlightenment.

    I didn’t even realize the video was pulled. I don’t understand how they can do that under the fair use laws (educational purposes).

    Posted by TheButcher | December 13, 2008, 5:20 pm
  16. @The Butcher – The pulled our video claiming a copyright violation, which is epic-level lame.

    Yeah, this melody is most def. something from Cat Stevens, but I seriously doubt that Yusuf Islam cares enough about the trappings of the material world to come out and silence them all.

    Posted by Shawn M. Smith | December 13, 2008, 7:03 pm
  17. Joe Satriani is a douchebag. Just sayin…

    Posted by Brock Lesnar | December 16, 2008, 2:09 am
  18. [...] he’s the anti-star for good reason. The man can’t write a song to save his life. He knows how to play guitar, so he gets up on stage for a few hours and noodles around like a 14 [...]

    Posted by The Nomenclature | Rant: I hate that Coldplay stole from Joe Satriani | January 4, 2009, 2:51 am
  19. joe is played out and late. id be mad if i was a played out shredhead who nobody liked in the 1st place. wah wah wah, maybe if he spent more time coming out with new innovative music, he wouldnt be suing other people for doing it….and by the way, if (which they are not) but IF they were the same song, joes blows anyways, nobody cares about joe or his cobwebs…jo cant stay fresh and new, thats why all his songs sound the same…LAME

    Posted by dan.shamrock | January 9, 2009, 12:50 pm
  20. I’m taking no sides, as I don’t like either artist. However I hate Coldplay more…They are just the poor mans (or uneducated mans) Radiohead anyway.

    Posted by Sasha | January 10, 2009, 12:38 am
  21. overall, I think that its pure coincidence. there are five to six songs that have basically the same chords. What does joe gain by this anyways? just some money? maybe strip coldplay of the nominations? If he had written that “melody” years ago, then why did he not get nominations for it? it just seems so stupid. In the end, I don’t think anyone copied from anyone. its just a pure coincidence with a popular melody.

    ps: to sasha, Chris martin has a degree in Greek and Latin as well as Ancient World Studies, Jonny Buckland has a degree in Astronomy and mathematics, Guy Berryman has a degree in Architecture, and Will Champion has a degree in Anthropology. If you call them uneducated, I think that this info I have just provided proves otherwise.

    pss: Radio Exile rocks!!!

    Posted by ironman | January 31, 2009, 9:44 pm
  22. [...] Yusuf Islam) would be ashamed to be caught listening to it (and we think that Satriani stole the “If I Could Fly” riff from him!). I might never forgive him for being such a damn pushover, denying they [...]

    Posted by 8 Musicians Who Need a Punch in the Face | Radio Exile | February 4, 2009, 10:47 am
  23. ok guys its time for the truth, and its that both are great musicians, ACCEPT IT B**CH! and stop blaming satriani for the lawsuit! first you must ACCEPT he is also a great musician and also far better than you, coldplay’s cool, I make out with my gf to their songs, but still Satriani’s music’s just different… Takes time to understand his music, anyways satriani as a composer must have his reason if not, then its HIS problem NOT yours radioexile blog…

    Posted by theTruth | February 9, 2009, 1:06 am
  24. Joe Satriani can’t write a song to save his life? It happens he released over a hundred songs over the past 20 years and been having a huge fan base until now. Not to mention that selling over 10 million records it’s pretty amazing for a non mainstream genre.

    I want to see coldplay having a 20 year career.

    Joe invented dozens of new guitar techinques and sounds, he taught some of the best guitarists in the world and influenced thousands of other musicians.

    Coldplay are simply a U2 rip off with crap vocals and Beatles Uniforms. They didn’t invent anything or influenced anyone. They will be remembered as some Indie band of the 2000’s while Joe will be a legend and remembered forever just like jimi Hendrix.

    Mark my words, this is the last Coldplay album, they ran out of chord progressions. Joe will record at least 10 more albums.

    p.s. This blog is supposed to be a joke? Don’t give up your day job. Comedy is not a talent you have I’m afraid.

    Posted by Alex | February 10, 2009, 11:52 am
  25. dan.shamrock, you don’t know what you’re talking about.

    Joe Satrani has been innovating guitar playing and sounds since the 80’s. He help creating Ibanez guitars, effects pedals and amps. He’s been coming up with new guitar techniques and experiments a lot with weird modes and chord progressions. No Satrini album sounds the same.

    For instance, The Extremist is a rock album, Engines of creation a electronic album, Joe Satriani a blues and Jazz album, Professor Satchafunkilus is a more funky rock blues type of album. They all explore different sounds and techniques. He sometimes uses dozens of different lead guitar sounds on a single track.

    All Coldplay do is playing with the most boring overused guitar sounds with the U2’s The Edge delay sound rip off sometimes. They have the most boring piano riffs, not to mention the bass and drums. The vocals are terrible. One thing I never understood in Coldplay’s music is the fact that they never have a decent chorus in their songs. All their songs sound like they never have climax, it’s like a drone.

    Get your facts right before saying stupid things.

    Posted by Alex | February 10, 2009, 12:03 pm
  26. Okay. Both are good musicians and Joe Satriani is well within his rights to sue. But lets take a look at the timeline. When did satriani talk about suing coldplay? somewhere in november, december. When did viva la vida come out? some where in the springtime of that same year. WOW!!!! I hope that satriani wasn’t waiting for the money…. Thats besides the point. Adam: If you talk about Coldplay basically being like U2, then think again. They sound nothing like U2. they may represent u2 in essence of success, but if you really listen to it, they are not as similar as you think. And the delay sound rip off existed way before edge’s time. I honestly think that it was a coincidence. As said on this forum some number of posts before, there are many songs with the same riff that Satriani is suing for. Its possible for the same thing to be invented in two places without each knowing that the other place has invented it. It has happened all through out history. And besides, I honestly don’t think that Coldplay even listens to satriani. It just doesn’t seem likely.

    Posted by ironman | February 10, 2009, 9:39 pm
  27. Posted by ironman | February 10, 2009, 10:58 pm
  28. I like both Satriani and Coldplay but it’s pretty obvious guys. Coldplay is playing “innocent”. Melody and music theory bro. Not just chords (anyway you mentioned the wrong chords). I think you should all be put into exile. Just play computer games or something…

    Posted by ronsky | February 17, 2009, 2:11 am
  29. [...] this page was mentioned by SatrianiContest (@satrianicontest), SatrianiContest (@satrianicontest), Brandon Smith (@chairmissing), radioexile (@radioexile), Tom Williams (@wingedfeetxc) and others. [...]

    Posted by Tweets that mention Radio Exile | Douchebag Alert: A Point By Point Rebuttal of Joe Satriani’s Interview With MusicRadar.com -- Topsy.com | September 2, 2009, 8:11 am

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