There are a lot of pretty valid reasons that one might want to punch another human being in the face: they might be physically revolting, they could owe you money or smell a bit “off”, or they might even be someone who has caused you some harm in the past. Throw all of those reasons out the door because this isn’t just any list, this gathering of musicians have offended some of us to the point that, yes, we want to hit them.
A few weeks back, during our usual Radio Exile pow wow (see: huge chain email), we started kicking around the idea of creating a list. This list wouldn’t be definitive or concrete, I merely asked my active staff members to contribute one artist that they wanted to punch in the face. Originally, it was supposed to only be singers, but, as you’ll see, someone threw a wrench in the plans.
Without further ado, I would like you to introduce you to 8 Musicians Who Need a Punch in the Face
No, that’s not a photo of Fergie, we just really, really hate her and really, really love Aretha’s hat!
Not that it would impact her looks much, but I would love to punch Fergie (Stacy Ferguson) in the face. And her solo music is just as busted as her face. Her inclusion in the Black Eyed Peas may have rejuvenated the band’s career, but it completely watered down their style for the mainstream. The only thing Fergie is selling is sex, which in her case, doesn’t get past those plastic lips.
Now, you may be asking yourself, where is the love? Fair question. The answer? Look elsewhere. What a terrible mismatch. Slash, how could you? – Elie Perler
There are a lot of reasons I want to punch Amanda Palmer of Dresden Dolls, but let’s start with one concert in particular. The show in question was hosted by WFNX at the Harborside Bank of America Pavillion. It was 35 degrees. It was April. The show started at 4pm and ran until 10 or so. Death Cab for Cutie was headlining, with supporting acts including Presidents of the United States of America and Amanda Palmer. After about two hours in the biting wind, Palmer took the stage.
First offense: the absolute butchering Radiohead’s “Creep” with her ukelele and moaning whale song. Thanks for destroying something beautiful.
Second offense: her constant name dropping throughout the performance, i.e. “There’s this really great guy that I got to work with, I don’t know if you’ve heard of him, he’s also a really great piano player, his name is Ben Folds” spoken in that voice. You know the voice: valley girl meets Ivy League grad student and it happened, literally, in between each song.
Third offense: her pretentious eyeshadow. Gross.
I’ve got news for you Amanda: You’re not clever. No one cares if you’re second cousins with Prince and your cabaret countenance alone is well deserving of five across the eyes. – Holly Perry
I have been saying this for years and I am happy to proclaim it to all who read this – Sting has and always will suck. There are many fine reasons to make such a statement. You can state his arrogance, his practicing of tantric sex (and telling us about it), his pseudo-environmentalism (in which he wants to save the world but will do several ads for Jaguar and other companies) and going by the moronic nickname, Sting for the last 35 years. Although all of these are terrible his greatest sin has to be his solo career and his god-fucking awful lute playing.
We all really should have seen this coming when he entitled his solo debut, The Dream of the Blue Turtles but no one bothered. People continued to let Sting skate on a few good songs he did with The Police several years ago. Almost daring people to hate him, Sting abandoned “pop” music and decided to explore Middle-Ages folk ballads. This in turn became his 2006 album, Songs from the Labyrinth which unfortunately for you I have provided a clip for you to watch below.
The returning melody of this song (which first happens from the :18-:24 mark) is so horribly cheesy that it undoes everyone of the decent moments he achieved while a member of The Police.
The guy is simply a walking embarrassment not only to himself, his previous work but to his fans, who continue to support him for reasons unbeknownst to me. I mean if you go see a Sting show, you want to hear “Message in a Bottle” but for the love of God not like this – Dan Berkman
She stumbled onto the American scene with more needles in her arm than teeth in her mouth, swaying back and forth to the Mac-powered Motown orchestra of Mark Ronson. There are many stories of her origin; some say the Ugly Tree grew extra branches to support her mythical existence. Others believe she is proof that a Unicorn had once been fucked by Ol’ Dirty Bastard, sans prophylactic. It’s even been written she was borne of the fecal matter from a failed genetic experiment hatched using Kurt Cobain’s bloody remains, and Courtney Love’s shmegma.
Still, like a mildly retarded Keith Richards, she unapologetically schleps her way through high profile sets, often showing up late, drunk, high, and incomprehensible. Worse yet, she pretends to be self-aware in an artsy kind of way… which is to say, she knows she’s rich for no reason, but she’s got enough money to buy the Prince George County’s entire supply of crack up, so why not act befuddled and amused at a major pop culture award show? [Check that out here] For these reasons, and more, I want to punch Amy Winehouse in the face.
(But not without wearing gloves. Ew.) – James Mitchell
There are two reasons why Greg Gillis, the man behind Girl Talk, deserves to be punched in the face by any combination of Kimbo Slice, Mr. T, or Ivan Drago.
(1) Greg Gillis is a bio-engineer and yet he dances around on stage in his underwear. Dude. You’re a bio-engineer! I in no way want to see you dance around in your underwear. I used to BE an engineer. I’ve SEEN their flabby white flesh and it is in no way pretty. Please. Stop!
(2) He “plays” the laptop. You don’t “play” a laptop unless you’re bashing on with a drum stick which I doubt Mr. “I’m A PC” does. Pressing the “enter” key is not the same as “playing” an instrument. Until he grafts a fret board onto his laptop and figured out how to shreds a wicked solo on the thing, then he is just some naked guy on stage playing on a computer. That’s not cool. That doesn’t even rock. And he deserves to be punched in the face for it. – Tom Williams
“Smash Your Head” [mp3]
Axl Rose has been in the queue for a “knuckle sammich” for going on three decades. To be fair, Gun N’ Roses were screwed from Jump Street as far as legitimacy went: a bevy of talented musicians and all the original lineup has to show for that were seven minute pissing contests between a jealous Axl and a confused Slash. It must have taken the rock community a great deal of effort to accept a squealing midget as a front man, and Axl spurned their generosity by developing a Napoleon complex and firing the talent in the band: everyone else.
The fact that the situation turned out to be a positive one for the rest of the band, and Slash found a leash for his epic solos (see: Weiland, Scott) is beside the point; Axl certainly didn’t do it out of the goodness of his heart.
In the past decade, Axl’s trademark has become choosing a hapless fan to throw out of his concerts for… what, acting like a rock and roll fan at a concert? Hissy fits and temper tantrums alone do not earn a man a punch in the face, though it may call for some corner time. It is his belief in his creative control that has turned potential hits like “Sweet Child of Mine” into boring, dated dinosaurs, and ruined lives as he hires and fires talented members of his staff and band at whims.
This latest era is enough to warrant lighting the man’s face on fire and putting it out with a fork. He sent a blogger to jail for leaking songs Axl himself had already made available. And it wasn’t enough that Chinese Democracy was enough of a corporate lovechild to accept promotion from Dr Pepper (so rock), he had the balls to deny knowledge of it. THEN, in true douche fashion, Axl promised to share his promotional Dr Pepper with fired member Buckethead for his contribution to Chinese Democracy. – Mark Hurley
I hate Bono not because of his songs (which are largely pabulum) or his band (which are probably held back by his ego) or even the very lifestyle choice that is being a fan of U2 (which may or may not have any currency anymore; it’s sort of like being a fan of Pearl Jam at this point). No, what I hate about Bono is that his pompous, self-righteous attitude has retroactively sullied any great submissions to the canon of popular music U2 made in the 80s and 90s. Much in the way that Tom Cruise has made Jerry Maguire a retroactively awful film, present day Bono has destroyed much of the goodwill rock fans had towards War, The Joshua Tree, and even Pop (shut up, I thought it was really well done). I don’t care how many people Bono the Good* saves; U2 the rock band deserved better.
Here’s U2 and Green Day (hopefully someone takes a swipe at these tools as well) performing the hollow-on-arrival “Saints are coming.”
*It’s actually kind of cool that he saves people, if that’s what he’s really doing and not just jerking off on Nelson Mandela. – K Sawyer Paul
Really, you thought I could get through this entire list and not mention this vagina? Where to start?
First, Chris Martin lead one of the most refreshingly British bands of the new millennium. They crafted a ton of good will and built a small army of fans with their stateside release of Parachutes in 2001. They were everything that Travis couldn’t be, that Elbow fell short of, that Starsailor wasn’t quite capable of pulling off. I won’t even get into how I was introduced to them in England in March of 2001 and how I championed them to everyone who would listen up until their July 2001 release. Upon its debut, I personally went on to sell, I kid you not, 500 copies of their release in one month in a mall that’s top stores were Hot Topic and some really crazy jersey store that had lot of Mitchell and “that other guy” stuff. Needless to say, Coldplay shouldn’t have been on a Jaheim fan’s radar, but I sold this band to anyone who would listen. How they were all the great things about British rock without the weirdness that some people can’t handle (i.e. Radiohead, no offense) or are scared of (i.e. Gary Glitter? – sorry I didn’t have another example there).
They start to burn through the trust I gave them with Rush of Blood…, up to X&Y and it just continues to get more and more “radio friendly” as instead of following the career trajectory of the aforementioned Thom Yorke and crew who they idolized and often drew comparisons to their Bends-era work, they decided to become the last douche mentioned on our list, Bono/U2.
Ugh.
Basically the latest chapter begins with them stealing their recent successes from third-rate, money-grubbing guitarists [Radio Exile's Official Timeline to Coldplay Ripping Everybody Off (As We See It)] and now, well, they’ve given themselves the opportunity to prove how very worthless the Grammy Awards truly are by winning for a song they didn’t write, but Coldplay should all be punched in the face for breaking my heart.
The reason that Chris gets this meat hammer alone: his label pulled down our video from this piece [Satriani vs. Coldplay vs. Creaky Boards] and he has a child named Apple. Martin broke my heart by making music so sanitary that Cat Stevens (aka Yusuf Islam) would be ashamed to be caught listening to it (and we think that Satriani stole the “If I Could Fly” riff from him!). I might never forgive him for being such a damn pushover, denying they stole a fairly common melody and for just being a bag of ass, but I tried once and I won’t be trying again. – Shawn M. Smith
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170 comments for “8 Musicians Who Need a Punch in the Face”
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is that the cameraman talking/screaming all through the slash video? jesus…
Amazing. If you had me list 8 musicians that need a punch in the face, this would be nearly my exact list. Axl, dude from Coldplay, Bono, Sting and Fergie are all on my list, but I would have included Robert Plant, Michael Bolton and Pete Doherty.
I skipped over your list after reading the first couple entries. Your punching list is just for artists you don’t like rather than those who are assholes in the professional and personal life. I can’t vouch for all, but I’ve met at least 2 people on this list and they’re quite exceptionally nice people who are undeserving of your ire.
Talent criticism is one thing. Threatening to punch them because of it is another. If you want to punch someone, give it to a musician who’s a horse’s ass.
What about Eddie Vedder?
Where the F*CK is Kanye West.
you fucking stink, I hate coldplay AND you’re a friggin’ moron.
please kill yourself, idiot.
you forgot to list kanye west
i can agree with this.
but some of the punches should be meant as rehabilitation rather than revenge.
i’ll leave the science of a punch being a cure up to betters.
You forgot Phil Anselmo of Pantera fame. That guy was/is the biggest prick in the industry!
where the fuck is KANYE WEST
Where is John Mayer on this list?
This article cannot be considered complete without mention of Kanye West.
James Blunt!!!
What about Kanye West? He needs a kick in the face.
Nice, I sayt punch them all.
RT
What a disappointment that Kanye West isn’t on this list. But then again, he’s no where near being a musician… we’d need a list of douchebags that need a punch in the face.
You missed Jack White – the number one “musician” who needs a good swift execution. Look, I (like many of my colleagues) have gotten drunk and attempted to sing while raping a musical instrument… but that doesn’t make me “creative” or any of the other compliments this no-talent hack gets.
“If you can hear a piano fall, you can hear me coming down the hall.”
Fuck you Jack White. Fuck you.
this post is complete garbage. you should be ashamed.
I used to want to be a musician back when I was a homeless rodeo clown but not any more. Now I am a world class magician !
you forgot kanye west.
Wow Radio Exile Staff? Really? I mean Really? I don’t know what’s worse, the fact you think you know what you’re talking about when it comes to GnR’s front man, or the fact that you think your opinions are righteous and your own.
You can go ahead and hop on the bandwagon calling out Axl’s affiliation with Dr. Pepper an exploit of commercialism, or as something as pathetic as a mechanism to help sell the album. But yourselves like so many other finger pointers are wrong. Dr. Pepper made the outside call saying that if Chinese Democracy was released in 08′ they would give everyone a freebie. You are honestly trying to pass off to me and your readers that Dr. Pepper staff sat down with Axl and discussed this?
I’m not saying I don’t have my own issues with the new album. It is apparent to me that several of the songs on the album were rushed during production, most likely stemming from corporate wigs to have the CD/record available by the Christmas push. The remainder of the album is fantastic, if you don’t agree, well then I don’t know what to tell you… you’re supposed to be the ones who know about music here.
Secondly if your gonna stick to putting slash up on an alter, and taking a small jab at him for playing with Fergie, understand that slash has been doing these cameo’s for years. What he, amongst others (you know who you are) need to do is bite the bullet and realign under the GnR banner for the next album release, which we all know is in the works.
In conclusion, I agree that sting and Bono need a good lashing, and as far as this Chris Martin, I don’t even know who he is.
I know he’s not really a musician but something needs to be done about Brett Michaels.
I would have gone for a twofer with Amy Shitehouse and Pete Docherty. Half a gram of coke and you could have fucked them both up.
Love, love, love this – however, a little put off that you use “vagina” as an insult. Part of my anatomy = revolting, disgusting thing? Uhm…
Dude, Tom Williams needs a punch in the face. Gregg Gillis does NOT deserve to be on this list (especially over folks like Kanye West and that guy from Nickelback). How does having “Bioengineer” on your list of accomplishments invalidate “Rock star”?
Second, “playing” a laptop like Gregg does is just as, if not more difficult than playing an instrument. Try this: pick up a guitar and attempt to play some reasonable-sounding Van Halen. Pretty hard, eh? Now, take your laptop and try to play something similar to Gregg’s music. Oh, what’s that? ALSO very difficult? Who would have thought?
As was said on Digg, this list is full of fail.
No, not at all. Your anatomy is probably very special and I think as a whole (I can’t speak for Holly), but we like vaginas, a lot. We just don’t like male rockstars that act like they have one unless, you know, they do.
“Pressing the “enter” key is not the same as “playing” an instrument.”
LOL, no shit. It’s dance music! Just go to a show and have fun. You shouldn’t even be looking at him anyway. He says so himself.
Finally a top * list that I can agree with. For a second I wondered why you hadn’t put Bono in the top spot. And then I saw Chris Martin. What a fucking pleb.
now i have independent confirmation that it’s alright to cry whenever i read through my cousin’s list of favorite music on facebook (is it still passe to mention FB in the public sphere? fuck ‘em).
i was waiting for mr. martin to make his needed appearance on this list; thanks for not disappointing; but his most egregious offense against all that is Decent and Right? basing the entire thematic direction of the latest album on the work of a TRUE master (Jacques-Louis David, THE artist of the French Revolution), and then bitching and moaning when someone actually calls him on the utter lack of any manner of comparison between the two, claiming something to the effect of the classic line “it’s just music”…prick.
stop being a dick, Jessie
Fire this writer!!
Oh wait…”Staff”…wow…that means more than an author and an editor actually looked at this and it still made it into the public sector.
I really couldn’t care less who the F you are…I don’t care if you are John Lennon’s image with a real musicians talent (let them flames be lit, at least it will be a 1000% more insightful conversation as opposed to the nonsense in this article)…when you put out your opinion like it matters, you look like a tool. I just last week got my 12 year old to appreciate that his opinions are like buttholes…
Perhaps “Staff” could use the lesson. When you want to appear really clever and witty and knowledgable about the topic…find someone who meets the criteria. Don’t just throw out your juvenile opinions as if they matter or something.
Bad enough to put up with this crap in posts, now some wizbanger Eng drop-out who thinks the Internet makes them a writer is doing it in ‘publications’. Jury is still out on the impact of this whole interwebs thing, but articles like this are NOT helping.
Where is Metallica? They need a collective (and repeated) b1tch slap, especially Lars. No band treats their fans worse than Metallica.
what about that ass clown Little Wayne? using autotune on your voice while rapping and sounding like yoda is NOT hip or cool.
So you didn’t like Amanda Palmer’s eyeshadow because it wasn’t typical and boring and you prefer Radiohead’s version of creep. But did you even listen to her songs? Amanda Palmer is amazing her songs invoke emotion and thouhgt her lyrics are the best I have ever heard and she is beautiful inside and out, maybe not traditional or typical beauty, but listen to her lyrics and read her blogs and examine her interactions and love between her and her fans before you talk about punching her in the face. Oh and by the way betch…..f*ck you!
Bono and Chris Martin may be a little pompous, but they are genuinely trying to make the world a better place. Doesn’t every multi-millionaire musician who does nothing but buy mansions and cars deserve to be punched more than either of those guys? Also, Bono has been married to the same woman for 20+ years – pretty cool in my book. Howsabout this: you work on curing AIDS in Africa for a few weeks and then I listen to you blather on about punching those who do.. K?
George Clinton needs one
Editor’s note: we work on curing AIDS currently on our middling salaries at day jobs that make far less than Bono or Chris.
you forgot 50cent, or does he need worse than a slap?
Where the frak is Kanye West?!?! Everyone knows he’s a lunatic who happens to be a “musician”
You forgot Insane Clown Posse, Kanye West and the rest of the hip hop junkies that can’t hold a tune without the aid of computerized auto tune software or they just skip autotuning and just synthesize the voice all together
KieranMullen
http:///360oregon.com
punch amanda in the face and we’ll bust your ass
how about lilwayne trying to go rock….and im getting sick of this gay euro electro shit
I really didn’t pay any attention to your feeble article til you decided to make a comment about Pearl Jam and some sort of comparison to Bono. The truth is that Pearl Jam is one of they few bands out there that stared fame and fortune in the face and decided that the music was more important. Sure they might promote events and make appearances that support a cause, but in the end, it’s about the music. So why don’t you punch yourself in the face and stop making yourself look stupid.
nice list, though i’m an ardent U2 fan.
Shawn Smith…it sounds like you’re in the music industry, but I’ve seen your name on some online application,….wait a second…is this the Shawn Smith from “Wrapped in My Memory”?
I absolutely love the hate.
Don’t like Amanda’s cover of Creep do you?
Yeah you probably liked Panic at the Disco’s lame ass cover of Radiohead more right?
Thought so.
Amanda’s cover is far from whiny, you just have bad music taste.
You can go back to listening to Fall Out Boy or The Frey or whatever sounds exactly the same.
I’ll go for different, and listen to Animal Collective.
Hahaha, no, not that Shawn Smith. I wish I was in Brad, at least I would have money, right?
Yeah. If you don’t know who Gary Glitter is, please check out http://youtube.com/watch?v=jxvetM7uqms
Please. For god’s sake, check him out just so you know what to avoid in the near and/or distant future.
No, Gary, I don’t want to be in any fucking gang you have anything to do with. No. Just…No.
It defies belief that Lenny Kravitz was left off this list.
KANYE WEST!!!
KANYE WEST!!!
KANYE WEST!!!
KANYE WEST!!!
KANYE WEST!!!
KANYE WEST!!!
I was following fine until you labeled Radiohead as weird.
Fergie was the only one you got right. Try harder.
James from Metallica needs the punch not Lars. If I had to work with that sober, whiny douche I’d be a dick too. James needs to fall off the wagon so Metallica can get back to not being a heavy top-40 band.
I’ve met Axl and he’s a no talent, hack that with enormous beer/drug muscles. Talk about a dick. If that jag-off was half as tough as he thinks he is he’d still be no more dangerous than a 10 year old girlscout! If it weren’t for Slash and the rest of the band Axl would just be a junkie living on the street somewhere.
You can’t even BEGIN to compare Coldplay to Radiohead. Radiohead is much better in any possible aspects.
Really?
Amanda Fucking Palmer?!
You obviously have no taste in Music.
And busting engineers? Really?
Who you going to hit up the next time your computer doesn’t work? Someone with a BFA?
Christ.
Courtney Love – this total waste of skin deserves to be burnt at the stake. And no I’m not talking about some made up “the bitch killed Kurt.” Kurt killed Kurt. No she deserves to be burned at the stake because she continues to believe she is in some way relevant (or ever was), and media keeps buying into it.
Marylin Manson – see above.
Trent Reznor – For continuing to rip off Gary Numan and not admitting it.
P.Diddy – how many reasons do you want me to list?
Lars – douchebag extreme.
Tommy Lee – for being one of rocks greatest drummers then humiliating himself and his band with his horrible childish Tommy Lee goes to school or whatever it was called.
Admittedly I skipped thru this list, but these things popped out to me:
The writer *used* to be an engineer & worked in a record store.
What qualifies the writer to judge?
Agreed, there’s a glut of artists in pop culture who irritate. But not nearly the number of self-righteous blogging morons who think their opinion matters to anyone.
Don’t dig it, don’t support it.
And shut the fuck up.
The funniest part about this is that you didn’t take the time to realize that there were 8 writers on the piece, one per artist mentioned. Ugh, your lack of reading comprehension is frightening.
Anyone who thinks Sting deserves to be punched in the face obviously knows very little about music. Songs from the Labyrinth is not music by Sting, but a Renaissance composer by the name of John Dowland. The music from this album is not shitty popular or rock music that most people here probably listen to, it is difficult to sing and perform. So, Dan Berkman, before you write an article, of any sort, know what you’re talking about you ignorant fool.
I want it to be known that Buckethead quit GNR. He did not get fired. He quit because he wasn’t touring enough. Buckethead should be given an award for purely jsut wanting to play all the time…. oh and because he is awesome.
what about Lars Ulrich?
Girl Talk does not deserve to be punched in the face
You need to be punched in the face, if doing what Girl Talk is so easy, why don’t you do it… Your attempt to make a cheap cynical list was poor and lame, even after reading what you said about the people I do agree with you on, it was still boring and even awkward feeling. Better luck next time, or if you’re feeling especially gracious, there won’t be a next time.
Can’t believe you left out Kid Rock!
I love Amanda Palmer. Fuck you.
It’s nice when a blog I’ve never heard of gives me a real good reason to never read it ever again on my very first visit.
Well played angry computer nerds, well played.
Rivers Cuomo
What the hell?
Gregg Gillis?
That stuff takes intense skill.
Look what you’re doing, making shitty lists.
You suck.
forgot kanye. like him or hate him, he’s got one comin
This list has been poorly compiled, only about three of these musiciams ACTUALLY need a punch in the face. I hate you.
At first, as I was reading this, I was kind of chuckling and thinking it was clever. But, the more I read, the more I found it all to be ridiculously funny. One comment shown is so very correct.. this isn’t based on musical talent or writing talent, but on what color eye shadow someone wears or whether or not they “left rock”.
ewwww… consider taking Comp. 101 people. You should all be “punched in the face” for being mediocre writers.
Holly L. Perry, I should point out that you are a silly little baby and that your opinion is invalid. Not only do you badmouth Amanda for having fun with a Radiohead song (God forbid!) and daring speak to fans about who she is working with (none of their damn business!), you also give the Clientele album a 2 out of 5. We’ve established that your judgment is absent and to follow up on that, the review you did of ROHS is a crystal clear example of why you should work on your writing before you put it out there for your 5 readers to see.
http://radioexile.com/2007/07/18/68959/
Ouch. Maybe take a bit of time and look over your reviews so that if you *are* gonna talk some trash you have a little bit of credibility behind that, because as is you sound like a jive turkey….
You have obviously never met Amanda Palmer. She is one of the most decent and kind human beings you could ever hope to meet. I can understand if her music isn’t your cup of tea but do a little personal research into the character of people before you going writing such tactless bullshit. I would wish a punch in the face on you but Amanda has taught me to be a better human being than that.
Yeah, sorry, but girl talk rocked hard, i left that show battered and bruised, drenched in sweat, with a huge smile plastered across my face. i couldnt even see him much of the time, i was on stage with about 200 others and it was a night of love and music, hosted by greg gillis.
not every entertainer has to play an instrument, or be a musician. you dont shout “get off the stage” at a conducter in front of an orchestra just because he isnt playing an instrument, yeah?
How is it that he made the list but not vampire weekend, kanye west, or that girl that kissed a girl and liked it?
lame.
YOU SUCK. Amanda Palmer is one of THE most talented women on this Earth. She was not “name dropping” by speaking about Ben Folds, they are very good friends and she was trying to tell people that he is a great man.If it wasn’t for Amanda Palmer, I wouldn’t have even ever listened to Ben Folds music, so i really don’t consider mentioning his name “name dropping”. Her cover of “Creep” is beautiful.
Why haven’t none of you tools said Soulja Boy yet?
Wow, edgy picks. Bono, Axl… Aretha…?
Also, nice JPG artifacts, by the way.
I’m sorry you can’t recognize true beauty and talent like Amanda’s.
What a shame.
Can’t wait to make my list of bloggers who should get punched in the face, put you on it, then send it to each of these people so they search you out and return the favor!
LOL. Saying “ouch” to a comment you made is like yelling when you’ve dropped a “dope line” in some “cypher”.
Aretha wasn’t on the list, as the text below that picture indicated. Sorry to burst your bubble.
Yup, seems you are wrong about Amanda. How much has RR paid you?
I can’t take this list seriously unless Kanye West is on it.
He needs more than a punch in the face.
What’s wrong with being a vagina?
Excellent list: agree with all of them which surprises me! lead singer of the Killers should be there too for saying they are the greatest band ever. I thought that decision was up to the punters oh and I don’t know posterity.
Dear Holly Perry-
Of course, you are right. It was entirely Amanda Palmer’s fault that it was 35 degrees and windy in April.
I notice the video in which you contend Ms. Palmer “destroys something beautiful” has a 5 star rating.
FYI- Ben Folds sought out Ms. Palmer for collaboration. He wasn’t just a famous guy she met at a party once. She has also been collaborating with Neil Gaiman and several other famous people who apparently find her more interesting and talented than anyone writing for Radio Exile.
Why isn’t lil wayne on this list?
[...] Contact « 8 Musicians Who Need a Punch in the Face [...]
I agree with Steve above. James Blunt:
http://portermason.com/bassistwanted/2006/09/01/meeting-james-blunt-in-the-elevator/
seriously where is james blunt
You have obviously never met Amanda Palmer. She is one of the most decent and kind human beings you could ever hope to meet. I can understand if her music isn’t your cup of tea but do a little personal research into the character of people before you going writing such tactless bullshit. I would wish a punch in the face on you but Amanda has taught me to be a better human being than that..
ha the lead vocals for creed should be on here as well.Don Henley should be #1 to get a fist in the mouth…
Tater
[...] 8 Musicians That Need A Punch In The Face - [Radio Exile] [...]
omg i hate most of these artists too especially sting and bono.
I think Amanda Palmer is fuckin brilliant.
Man, you should give some real reasoning on why you put those people in the list. You don’t like them – OK, but who are you that i should care about your preferences. Argument yourself better.
You understand that Sting didn’t actually write “Come Again” or any of the songs on that album, right? It is a very old song and probably didn’t sound at all cheesy at the time. You may not appreciate what he did on that album, but it isn’t a reason to punch him in the face.
Also, I hope some day it stops being “cool” to hate Bono. It seems like the new fad, like hating something just because it’s popular and you want to feel all alternative. Isn’t it possible he really does want to do something bigger with his life and money than just spend it and make music? God forbid.
All rappers.
JAMES BLUNT!!
[...] then somehow (popurls?) I found this link of 8 musicians who need to be punched in the face, which claims that the existence of Amy Winehouse is proof that “a Unicorn had once been [...]
No, no, this is the proper way to deal with putrid music…I don’t care if a musician is a horse’s ass, if they perform well let them. In today’s culture, the industry treats us like we are all terri shalvo, so they make shit, put it on the radio, and some kids go out and buy the shit b/c they heard the shit. I say mandate a punch to the face for shit music, i don’t care if the person is nice, punch that bastard if they make millions and are untalented.
The fact that you do not list Kanye West or P. Douchebag (or whatever he’s calling himself these days) or Courtney Love makes me want to punch YOU in the face.
[...] musicians who need a punch in the face. Radio Exile make compelling cases for these eight crooners and why they would benefit from a good knuckle sandwich, including Bono, Axl Rose and Girl Talk. [...]
girl talk is the bomb sir, and if you fail to recognize this fact then you deserve to go to hell. since when has “playing the laptop” been a crime? if you are going to take a swing at girl talk because of that then you might as well be trying to take offense to about half the modern rap and electronic music producers. sampling is new and fresh, and if you are not willing to accept that then i have no help for you, good day sir.
Ehhh you’re an ass. Amanda Palmer is amazing & if you knew anything about Radiohead, you’d know they wrote creep, as you would call it “butchered” to begin with. That chord everybody loves so much? Yeah Johnny Greenwood purposely fucked those notes up to make the song sound worse. Eat shit & die.
who the hell is Amanda Palmer?
the writer of this article needs to punch himself out for his ultimate ignorance. Axl Rose is one of the greatest frontmen in the history of hard rock. its easy for weaklings who buckle to conformity to take potshots at Axl now but nobody can deny his stature- he clocked in at number 7 in the list of the greatest rock singers EVER among the likes of robert plant and freddie mercury. “screaming midget” indeed!
more inaccuracies include the hilarious suggestion that Axl had “already” made the leaks available. try doing a few minutes of research, liar. Leaking 11 out of 14 songs on the album is some “corporate” masterplan only in your psycho world. A few of those songs had been played at shows before but not virtually the whole album.
plus, Axl had nothing to do with Dr. Pepper’s scheme which was basically just a way of mocking Chinese Democracy. Dr. Pepper had to face up when the album actually came out but they failed to deliver. blaming this on axl shows how incapable you are of stringing an accurate sentence together.
This is the first time I have visited this site and it will be the last. Don’t take the amount of responses you received as an indication of your popularity. This kinds of journalism ::smirk:: is absolute shite.
I will likely never be at the same show as Holly Perry because your (or is that you’re) taste is horrible but please accept another virtual fist to the face.
Goodbye
[...] 9 – Eight musicians who need a punch in the face. Their words, not ours – Radioexile [...]
YOU should be punched in the face.
Axl is a has-been.
[...] Musicians Who Need a Punch in the Face at Radio Exile. Tagged: asshole musicians, douchebag musicians, egocentric, musicians who need a punch in the [...]
Seems Kanye is quite the popular one who was left off the list.
[...] 8 Musicians Who Need A Punch In The Face. [Radio Exile] [...]
[...] 8 Musicians Who Need A Punch In The Face. [Radio Exile] [...]
Dude…Amy Winehouse just needs to be drug out to the street and shot. Release ALL of us from her misery.
John Mayer and James Blunt both have vaginas.
Amanda Palmer is rad. She should be hugged, not punched.
Have you ever actually listened to Amanda Palmer? Not saying her music is for everyone – because it’s not. That’s not the point. Her music is beautiful, and sometimes ugly but overall makes you think, and makes you feel. No punches!!
the original Guns N Roses was awesome. They had a lot of great songs. But i agree, Axyl has always been a giant ass. His wrongly inflated ego has always held the band back. Im glad that Guns N Roses atleast got people to pay more attention to the real talent and that they then went on to bigger and better things. Guns N Roses is dead. Axyl pissed off a lot of people, including fans, and gained a bunch of weight. He doesnt even have the same voice anymore.
There are scores more punch-worthy artists in the world than Amanda Fucking Palmer, for infinitely more justifiable reasons.
Eyeshadow? Come ON, man.
The great John Dowland got dissed.
I recommend to listen and learn. If you manage to fight your ignorance and try to understand Dowlands music, you might actually be able to write something interesting about Sting’s performance, which clearly is not the best Dowland you can get.
hey douche nozzle, too many adds on this site.
Whoever said Jack White should be on this list is a birdbitch.
it kinda irritates me when people dump on a band for being too “radio friendly” or “mainstream.” As if those words are automatically synonymous with “bad.” i like to listen the radio sometimes and and michael jackson, the beach boys and many other really great artists created radio friendly music. that in itself does not signal musical demise. you sound like those self proclaimed indie kids in college that were just about to tattoo their favorite death cab cd on their ass until the oc “stole” and “mainstreamed” it so now that more than 4 people enjoy their favorite band theyve sold out and become shit. why can’t good bands enjoy wide spread success? what is so wrong about that?
Ha ha, there’s three. You’re a moron, seriously.
Where the hell is the dickweed Pete Wentz and his loser breeder Ashley Simpson? Those two douchebags are a waste of skin and air.
What the fuck? Why Amanda Palmer? Jesus Christ.
2 things: Kayne West should definitely be added to #1 on this list, And second, Girl talk should not be on this list, he is a great performer, just because he uses a computer doesnt mean he isnt a musician, are you saying that every DJ should be on this list then? I mean Girl Talk must be doing something right, on the video that you posted looked pretty packed and everyone looked to be having a good time…i think you missed the mark on this one my friend…
I agree with Caz,will NOT be returning to this site. Amanda Palmer has a beautiful voice and is an over all beautiful woman.
Half your “reasons” for punching these 8 people just aren’t legit enough, sounds more like they’re the popular kid in high school that you’re jealous of [excluding Chris Martin, who is the only one i agreed with]
Sounds like a piss platform for a Buckethead(aka Buckwheat)bitchfest…..
What no “Beat Michael Jackson to a bloody pulp”????
Sting is definitively the bottom of the bottom. It is unbelievable how somebody can listen him while he pretends to sing and play, while he is actually not. It is unbelievable how he can create so depressive sound.
Add:
- Scott Weiland
- Michael Jackson (add 2 or 3 kicks in the face)
Thom Yorke (just to straighten up ;P)
for the people defending girl talk with the sampling, he’s a d.j., blah blah, argument, the point is he is on stage, with a laptop in his fucking underwear. Not because he samples music, thats not new, its been going on for decades. Put some clothes on, and stop “rocking out” on your laptop. Its got a guitar hero feel to it, not a good thing.
for those upset about amanda palmer, as a radiohead fan and a fan of the dresden dolls, i will say that that cover sucked, badly. and being pretentious is not cool, so as nice and smart and pretty as she may be, i think she is guilty of being pretentious (brechtian punk cabaret?)
Axl rose is a dick. GnR is a washed up, almost never was band from twenty years ago.
Bono and Sting. The same creature really, just douchebags. Its almost inexplicable, they just are.
Amy winehouse is a talented musician hooked on drugs. I don’t agree that she should be punched in the face, but her bullshit does get to be much sometimes. At least show up to your shows.
I always hated coldplay, so chris martin can be punched without me losing sleep.
P.S. What kind of person defends Axl Rose/GnR? (its a rhetorical question)
It’s really old and dumb to talk shit on computer musicians/DJs for “pressing play.” Gregg Gillis has shown many times how his performance are very “live.”
The Fergie video should have been Slash feat. Fergie. But it still blew. Great list though.
Imogen Heap ‘plays’ the ‘laptop’ too. Garage Band is actually a really interesting tool. I’d compare it to the moog or something else of the like. I’ve nothing against electronics as an instrument, and in fact, encourage it. I find it highly creative.
Why does that guy have tape on his hand? What’s wrong with him? That’s attention seeking behavior.
You mean the photo of Chris Martin? That’s not tape, but he once was more concerned with charitable causes than Grammys. I miss that version of Coldplay, before their music all seemed disingenuous.
Axl’s assholeness aside. Am I alone in thinking the new GnR CD is way better than any of the stuff put out by slash or the others?
Coldplay BECAME radio friendly? What part of Yellow’s four chord guitar chorus did you mistake for being NON-radio friendly? Coldplay didn’t let you down. You just can’t admit to liking something that’s so popular, when you yourself helped spread the word.
Lame.
The rest of this is very funny.
Ah, someone FINALLY sees my hypocrisy. In a lot of ways, you’ve got it absolutely right here: I did help spread the word early on and very little of what I liked has changed but they became less “my” band and, instead, became BIG. That’s the “indie snob” catch-22. How long do you love a band after they no longer “need” you? I gave up after X&Y, for the record.
Well at least you admit it ;p
HAHAHAHA
I was just looking for some mp3’s of Girl Talk on HypeM and then stumbled across this article. Although I don’t completely agree with all the people being in here (but I do with most of them), it made me laugh pretty good.
It is good to see frustration vented this way. I don’t get what all these people are making such a fuss about? Seriously, it’s better to write about it than to actually punch people now, isn’t it?
Thanks a lot for this entertaining lecture, very well-written!
Glad you liked the article. Some people didn’t see that it was a joke and they freaked as if we would actually go and target people that we wanted to punch. Morons.
[...] a bit of an uproar with a piece that had us doling out punches to musicians that we felt deserved [8 Musicians Who Need a Punch in the Face] and we sort of felt bad (for a second or two, that is). This time around, we just want to spread [...]
amanda kicks hXc asshole and you’re too pussy to admit that she’s awesome.
fuck your mother and find something else to do with your time.
this is what i see as purely PATHETIC.
oh and to mr “Rob Blatt” you need a kick in the cock because SIR robert plant is one of the biggest fucking legends and surely you are NOTHING.
peace&&love.
Peace? Really.
You wrote that with the eloquence of a primate, are obviously far too dense to see a month old joke and want to kick someone in the cock?
What are you, ten?
Don’t use words to “sound cool” when you don’t know the meaning of the word. “Cat Stevens (nee Yusuf Islam) would be ashamed to be caught listening to…”
Née is French for “born.” Cat Stevens was not born Yusuf Islam. He was born Steven Demetre Georgiou, according to wikipedia. You are using the term incorrectly.
Also, née with two E’s is the FEMALE version of née. Also, you are missing an accent.
I would not have been a bitch about this, except that you used the word to be a douche.
You are pretentious. But you still fail.
I always find it funny when the pubescent, asexual nerds on this site “write” columns that are critical of others, yet the column is riddled with spelling and grammatical errors. Try proofreading, you douches. Fergie deserves a punch because she does what she does? She’s a pop tart, so what? Sting deserves a punch because he has sex? Don’t worry, IP writers, someday you too might actually have sex with a woman. But don’t hold your collective breath. Bono is pompous and self-righteous because he thinks the world’s richer nations should be doing more to help starving and dying children in poorer nations? Yeah, that deserves a punch in the face. How dare he use his fame to help others! You know who REALLY deserves a punch in the face? Widro, for letting a bunch of no-talent hacks write for his site. Give me back the days when we had guys like Eric S. and Hi8 on here.
LOL. Seriously? You’re a month late to the party and you think this bugs me? Lame.
Thanks for the correction, Sarah. With over 5K words to look over, I was bound to make some mistakes, but thank you for catching that. I have fixed to read (aka Yusuf Islam) as I think that is what I actually meant, and while I am usually a douche, I like Cat Stevens and just made a mistake.
Haha, not a party, moron. I was reading the other lame “column” about musicians who need a hug. Seems like I struck a nerve with you. The fact that you reply to everyone’s posts calling them a “moron” or “lame” just speaks to your amateurish writing abilities and immature personality. Don’t post stuff like this if you can’t take the heat. Don’t worry, once you move out of your mom’s basement and stop listening to lame emo indie rock, maybe you’ll get a girl to pay attention to you. See Sarah’s post above mine. You try to sound smart, but you’re failing, and simply exposing your ignorance. You might want to think about taking a journalism class or two, as well. When trying to be a writer, it helps to, you know, know how to write. Good luck with all that.
No, the “party” in question was a month old article that you’re just finding now. I would take the time and argue with you, but I am just too busy being a “lousy writer” to care.
Yes, I knew what you were referring to. That time. Since you actually spelled things right and used the proper vocabulary. And I’m sorry I wasn’t cool enough to find this gem of an article when it was originally posted. My loss, I suppose. Though one wonders why you’d bother to link to it in newer articles if you didn’t want people coming late to the “party.” And yes, I can see how busy you are by the amount of replies to this article you have posted, calling people morons for not agreeing with you. The mark of a true journalist. And a busy one at that. Keep up the good work! I am sorry you don’t have the time to keep arguing with me, though. I’m having a lot of fun pointing out your mistakes and inconsistencies. Also, funny how you thank Sarah for berating you for using “nee” in the completely wrong context. I guess any conversation with a woman is a good one, huh bud?
Dude, to accuse someone else of being a poor journalist for a mistake in an article (which they corrected and thanked the person for) is silly. It is. Your initial statement was a diatribe against how much Inside Pulse and Widro suck, but I won’t argue with you and say that 411 sucks because I work with them for my day job and they’re good people. You came here and didn’t like the article and that’s cool, but if there are over 150 comments here (most of which I appreciate, but some are people really just trolling for attention as best they can) and that’s less than 1% of the article’s total traffic. The douchey comments by yours truly have been directed at those that wanted the attention, yourself included.
Also, with a tiny bit o’ research, you could see that not only is my digital footprint pretty solid, and in the process of looking, you would see that I am married. Thinking that I have limited contact with women because I am a writer is childish, and that’s an incredibly lame way to look at things and voice your opinion when you don’t agree.
That’s what I won’t argue with.
[...] That Need A Hug A couple of months ago Radio Exile did a piece on musicians that need a punch in the face. From that article they caught hell from every corner and rock that Amanda Palmer fans hide [...]
[...] 8 Musicians who deserve a punch in the face – I wholeheartedly agree with this article. [...]
[...] Several month ago, we here at Radio Exile ran a now infamous piece about 8 Musicians Who Need a Punch in the Face. Most people saw the piece for what it was; a humorous attempt to bring a few musicians, most of [...]
Artists who try to help those less fortunate than they really do deserve a punch in the face. I’d like to thank the Radio Exile Staff for being part of the solution.
Well, they say any publicity is good publicity and thanks to your publicity of that Amanda Palmer, she has a new fan today… ME! I’d never heard of her before today so I googled…an I like what I saw. As for Axl Rose, I say punch away lol
Greg Gillis. Electronic music is still music, and, if after pouring everything into making a track all he has to do to play it live is press ‘enter’ so be it.
Don’t be so ignorant to say that all music has to be performed in standard rock-band set up. That’s stupid.
I must say, I am impressed with the AFP fan outrage. Amanda has a lot of devoted fans behind her. I personally love her to pieces, but I know she’s not for everyone. Most of my friends are not interested in listening. I, however, COULD punch most of this list right in the kisser.
Hey Lex, believe me, we were impressed by the AFP fan outrage as well. We had a lot of fun on that one and we were able to go over to the forums and talk with them as well. Good people who love Amanda and once they got that we were joking (a bit) it was all cool. Thanks for stopping by, feel free to look around and tell us what you think.
[...] few months ago, we got in trouble for writing about artists we’d love to punch. Admittedly, most of the artists are ones that we all listen to and often have enjoyed. The [...]
where is rihanna? somebody should punch her stupid annoying ass.
[...] Part of my lack of coverage of All Points West this year had more to do with my general malaise toward the lineup in general AND due to the inclusion of Coldplay on the Sunday bill as headliner. I am not a super indie snob, but I just hate the hell out of them. [...]
Amanda Palmer is involved with an extended group of scientologists including Neil Gaiman, who has donated six figures to Scientology and been named a Scientology Founding Patron. Palmer is a perfect candidate for Scientology, ambitious, narcissistic and willing to ruthlessly claw her way up. But even Palmer’s raw ambition can’t overcome the fact she lacks any talent at music or lyric writing. Gaiman and Palmer are working as a team, with the Scientology seal of approval. They got paired up to make money, that’s why their relationship was “launched” with pictures, a soundtrack, a self published vanity book, a poster and even a pair of goofy wobble dolls. Unfortunately for Scientology’s coffers, Gaiman’s career is on the downslide after writing so many bad scripts that tanked and Palmer got dumped by her record label because she can’t write a song to save her life, let alone sing. Scientologists manage the comments on any thread discussing their cash cows so you’ll see vehement defense of these idiots coupled with slathering, phony comments about how great they are. Most of the crap on the web about Palmer and Gaiman is written by them in their relentless attempt to control the dialogue.
Sounds like Scientologists… no sense of humor.
[...] tracks that I didn’t hate at all until so many of the participants in this video turned into huge bags of douche or creepy pedo-dudes. Okay, “pedo-dudes” isn’t fair because George Michael and [...]