Some background?

The idea behind our Random Keywords Review Challenge was simple: we get or come across lots of music we’d like to bash with a nasty review. Instead, we’ve devised a way to say things in a funnier way by asking our friends around the web to come up with 5-6 key terms that need to be fit into every review. This makes us think things through and, maybe, causes us to laugh at the review more instead of feeling so damn jaded. If the review gets all the terms into the piece, and thus makes it through the challenge successfully, SMS buys them a shirt from Elbo.ws. Not sure what we’ll do the next time, but I am sure I can wing it.

This review’s “challenge words” were: refrigerator, bowling pin, enthusiastic, death panel and fingertips.

Show me a little love. My husband bought the new Third Eye Blind album. In fact, he had pre-ordered it. He says 3EB is to him as Better Than Ezra is to me.

I have no problem with that.

I synced up the ol’ iPods two mornings ago. His crap was on my iPod. This crap, to be precise.

We hit the train platform – I started grinning and no, it wasn’t your “Yeah I’m totally into this!” grin. I stifled laughs on the train, while he gave me quizzical “What? I LOVE this!” looks.

Somebody please just bludgeon me with a bowling pin because I am going to have to listen to this for the rest.of.my.life. We need to do something. Maybe send this album to Obama so we can get a preliminary death panel going on it? Test it out? See if it works? Please.

When he got home, I told him I was not a fan. I must have said it in a snarky tone, because he went on a “No more Noah and the Whale on roadtrips!!! Frightened Rabbit is Terrible!” tirade (sidebar: I have decided to mention Noah and the Whale in every post for the rest of this year). Hey, I can’t help it if I’m bent about one of my favorite bands (ref:http://radioexile.com/2009/06/24/where-have-you-gone-my-better-than-ezra/) selling out to grocery store radio! I’m happy that this 3EB album blows. I thought he’d share in my pain of love and loss, but he digs this album – legitimately.

Yes, a little bit of me died that day.

There’s absolutely no denying that 3EB’s debut album was a gem. Absolute diamond in the pop genre. I’ll take it a step further and say that the last four songs of their debut (“I Want You,” “The Background,” “Motorcycle Drive-By,” and “God of Wine”) are the most memorable in that particular order than on any album I’ve ever heard. They are perfect – they flow incredibly, they are still uniquely relevant 10+ years later, and the lyrics are fantastic.

(Maybe I love these songs so much, that perhaps I cannot hear if they are dated? Do songs become immortal if they speak to you personally? Can you not hear it become passe?)

The only album that comes close to this flow is Dashboard Confessional‘s So Impossible EP. When I saw them for free, they actually played the EP in order – Chris Carrabba knew what he was doing. I digress. But honestly, 3EB’s first album was virtually flawless, and in knowing that they can craft that kind of music, that they have this talent at their fingertips, well, Ursa Major is pathetic.

If I had a refrigerator full of music, this album would be that can of fancy tuna way in the back that has been there since God-knows-when but I feel guilty about throwing it away because I spent my hard earned lootcakes on it. “Sharp Knife” is the best glimpse we have into the past of what was once. Musically they aren’t necessarily backsliding nor progressing – sure some of the songs echo prior albums. They incorporate their signature 3EB guitar riffs, while only using power chords sparingly. This is not what concerns me.

After their self-titled debut, 3EB sort of transitioned into a lyrically sexed-up pop culture glutton. Which would be fine, except on their latest release it seems every other word is in your face gimmicky “duct tape vest” “water-pick showerheads” et. al. These are not going into the Lyrics Hall of Fame the way some of them will from their first album. It’s like pop culture threw up all over this album, and you can’t get the stink out. There were some dry heaves through 3EB’s past two albums, Blue and Out of the Vein, but Ursa Major seems to be projectile. And while it is apparent that Jenkins & Co. are trying to force down social statements of some kind, the message that ultimately comes across is your typical “defeat this world of hate and embrace love.”

Obviously, Stephen.

And the enthusiastic lyrical delivery (often spoken, not sung) is on a “one of these things is not like the other” level. Maybe it’s supposed to be lighthearted. Maybe Jenkins wants me to laugh when he sings, “Give me my pictures back you effing w. (rhymes with bore)!” I don’t know. I’m not sure I want to know at this point.

But really, for all of this – this heartbreaking downward spiral of Third Eye Blind – I absolutely blame Charlize Theron. Give him his pictures back, already.

Congrats to Holly for meeting our “Random Keywords Review Challenge” and thanks again to Brandon from Elbo.ws for helping out.

Last 5 posts by Holly L. Perry

• Make Love, Not War - The (Subjective) Bedroom Mixtape - January 18th, 2010
• Yo Gabba Gabba - Music Is Awesome Review - December 9th, 2009
• Go Stuff Yourself - The Thanksgiving Mixtape - November 26th, 2009
• Noah and the Whale - The First Days of Spring Review - November 6th, 2009
• Volcano Choir - Unmap Review - October 15th, 2009