No one cares that Creed is back together, save the toothless, mouth-breathing fans that made them Clear Channel’s golden ticket back in the late 90’s. We’re all in agreement here, I think: They are an abomination. Watch Creed be some sort of interstellar test, sent here by a superior life form, to grade our collective intellect. Are we ready to be discovered? To be introduced to the universe and beyond? Are we ready for the next great step in evolution?

Nope.

So why am I posting anything Creed-related here? Seems the band, perhaps having somehow learned to read and write in their hiatus, has engaged in the Twitter phenomenon. And when I say “engaged”, I mean they’ve clearly hired an intern to post on their behalf and run a spam account that attacks random users. (I’m gonna take a wild guess and assume user Vinceguida isn’t a Creed fan. But there he was, spammed like the rest of us.)

No band, to my knowledge, has done anything like this. Which is weird, since Creed hasn’t done anything original in their failed abortion of a career. But there it was, this morning, on my iPhone… a tweet from someone named Creed4Eva, who had posted:

Creed4Eva @lowercasejames RT! NEW MUSIC from @CREED Follow band @Marktremonti @brianamarshall @scott_phillips @scottstapp @IIEROCKII www.creed.com

I’d rather follow Osama Bin Laden. As far as I can tell, 10 hours ago, Creed4Eva sent out 127 tweets, encouraging individual users (that’s right, one at a time) to follow each member of the band, the band’s label, and to hit the band’s website. I’m hoping Twitter figured it out, and locked down any subsequent digital ejaculate from alt-radio’s diseased urethra, but that’s just speculation. And really, it’s just foreplay to the ear-rape we’re all bound to endure over the next few months. The band’s comeback is imminent, and it seems there’s nothing we can do to stop it.

Last 5 posts by James V. Mitchell

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